I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
