Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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