are you still at the devil's house?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
