I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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