Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
