New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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