Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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