this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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