well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You ate ashes out of my bong
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
