guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
