Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
