so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
