And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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