I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
