this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
