If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
