I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
