I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
