Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
