Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
