I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
