you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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