Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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