so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
