He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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