I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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