everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We are all done wearing pants today
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
