And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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