wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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