i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
