whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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