i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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