i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
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