She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
