Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
