I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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