Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
