I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
