Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
