im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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