Where did you get a picture of my penis
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
