i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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