Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
