have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
