i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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