I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
love makes seman taste better
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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