You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
