Your mouth is God's brothel.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
