New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize