so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize