me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
