ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
