I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
