You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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