I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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