I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
