I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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