nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
