College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
