i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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