okay pat passed out under dana's car
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
