using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
